Who Are You Really Mad At?

Sometimes people act in a certain way and you wonder and can’t help thinking ‘Like seriously!!!’

A lot of people walk around with a lot of latent aggression boiling just beneath the surface waiting for the slightest provocation. Suppressed annoyances and transferred aggression is often the order of the day. Truth is, most of us do not realize we are acting out and sometimes do not bother to trace the root cause of our annoyances. Should we give ourselves a minute to think, we will often find out that particular incidents do not match our responses and reactions at the moment we act out.

I read an article that described this scenario; A man was walking on the street with his nine year old son and six year old daughter. The boy looked up and spoke to his father and the father got really pissed (presumably at what the boy said) and started yelling at the boy. You could see the boy was physically affected by the words his father was saying. As soon as his father stopped yelling, the boy turned round and hit his sister.

Shocking right? Not entirely. That story is an example of how a number of us live our lives.

Upset with your boss, take it out on your subordinates.

Upset with your wife, yell at your kids.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s ok and healthy to vent but direct it to the right source.

Quit substituting and repressing your annoyance.

Quit instinctive responses. If you are the receiving end, pause and realize that you are a substitute. This realization often releases you from feeling upset.

It’s a vicious cycle of transferred aggression and the sooner we all took time to pause before reacting and ask ourselves, ‘Is person (A) a punching bag for person (B) who I’m truly upset with?’, we will curb this cycle of negative energy that can be detrimental in the long run.

Break the chain.


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