Hoodwinked By Hollywood

Still on the topic of derailed dreams, what are yours?

when i grow upWe are deceived into believing that we cannot change our minds about who we want to become as we grow up. Our parents and teachers hold us at our word and try to plan everything about our lives so it aligns with those thoughts that most of us didn’t think through but just blurted it out at a guidance counselor’s office. It seemed like the right answer at the time but is it still right some 5 – 10 years down the line?

Ever since I could remember, I wanted to be a lawyer. I had seen so many law and order episodes and read a lot of John Grisham novels that the desire to be like one of those great characters, emerged. I saw myself challenging the jury to see beyond the evidence; shouting objection and banging the desk so violently that the media would take notice; just the thought of fighting for what was right and providing justice was all I wanted.

I was hoodwinked by Hollywood.

Reality and Hollywood’s interpretation of the law did not align so I kicked that aspiration to the curb.

My mother got married at 22, yes 22 years old. I tried to be realistic about my expectation so I set my target marriage age at 25. It wasn’t a farfetched dream; I was done with secondary school early, graduated from university at 22 and had my first boyfriend and fiance all before I was 25. Yes, things were going according to plan.

Nope, they weren’t.

He cheated. He intimidated me. He ruined my self esteem. The wedding was called off. The short version of a 5-year relationship. Failure, yet again. I tried again though, but same outcome; but that’s a story for another day.

So far, childhood aspiration 2, achievement 0.WIP


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