She sits legs crossed at the ankles, hands folded casually on her lap with her head tilted to the side. Her gap-toothed smile transforms her face and you can see that there is more to that calm beautiful demeanor.
To the casual observer, this is a lady in control. You’re enthralled by the young lady in the short dress across the room whose laughter is sometimes is contagious but mostly hides her laugh behind her hand. She is a beauty.
If only you looked a little closely then you would see the telltale signs of a lady who is not at ease. The casual tapping isn’t in line with the soft music playing at the background as the standup comedian cracks everyone up. No, she’s fidgeting cos it’s been ages since she’s been out socializing. She casually glances at her watch trying to gauge the appropriate time to spend before she can make her excuses to leave.
She’s been schooled in the art of masking and feigning enjoyment that no one suspects she’s itching to leave. She catches the eyes of a few admiring looks around the room and gives a coy smile even though her heart is beating at super speed. If only they knew she was a mess.
To quote Shakespeare ‘There’s no art. To find the mind’s construction in the face’ – these words are so true. There is almost always a disconnect between external perception and the internal realities. Case in point best friends who work together at the same office and one back bites the other for no apparent reason but feigns love and friendship when the other is present. The human mind is a labyrinth, who can understand it. I barely understand mine.
It’s a strange world we live in; navigating the pretenses, lies and deceit can be exhausting and sometimes lead to life changing decisions. My motto for a long time has been to trust no one cos no one is worth the hassle the often times come with betrayal. I try as much as possible to remain cynical and expect the worse from people which keeps me from being utterly shocked when things take a turn for the worse.
You might not agree with my approach to dealing with people but it has kept me for slitting my wrist or losing my mind.
I’m open to alternatives if you can convince me otherwise.