Leaving him was the hardest thing she’s had to do in a long time. The pull and connection was ever so strong even after years of being separated by geography and conflicting schedules. Her chest constraints in pain, causing her to hyperventilate while simultaneously tearing up and stray tears spilling uncontrollably. Her tear ducts were shaming her in public and she was at a loss for what to do. She has one clear thought though, ‘Enough was enough, her days of being an emotional mess were long behind her. She was done.’
Looking up at James as he brushes off imaginary lint off her arms all in a desperate attempt to draw out their farewell, Mary knows this is goodbye but none of them have the guts to say it out loud; but he knows. He sees it in her eyes, in her posture – the way her shoulders are pulled back with her collarbone protruding, – the continuous twitch around her lips as she bites back numerous sarcastic retorts. He knew her well enough to bite his tongue and keep any platitudes to himself, they would backfire at this point. A lot had been said and there were no words left only this huge silence between them and the electricity emanating from their bodies. Chemistry had never been their problem but everything else.
Their embrace was long and communicated every emotion they each felt, Mary was the first to pull away. ‘Have a safe flight babe’ James said. ‘You know I love you’. Looking into his eyes for what felt like a minute, Mary pulls him close till their foreheads touch, caresses his chin, turns, walks away and doesn’t look back. She was tired of this dance, the I love you’s and the emptiness she felt whenever geography and family demanded their due. She was done.
As the plane ascends into the clouds and the embarrassing tears escape in bucket loads, Mary can be heard chanting over and over again, ‘I can’t keep letting this happen. This is the end, I’m better than this’.