Birthdays are special. For one day, you are the centre of attraction. And everyone who matters to you makes you feel special. As the celebrant you stand at the precipice of new beginnings.
Today I remember a young man who has missed 7 birthdays but yet ages daily in my mind and heart. I can see his beards, his full head of hair and that quirky smile and raised eyebrows.
I remember the football field cake made in honor of your 8th birthday.
I remember your afro.
I remember your kindness and selflessness.
I remember your loyalty.
I remember your strength, your confident charm and your voice.
Looking at our old love letters; the ones you wrote and those that I wrote but never sent, because they were not good enough. It tells a story of a shining past draped in the likeness of a fairytale but really it was spotted with doubt and confusion.
The sweet letters still tug on my heart strings, bringing a smile as I try to hold on to the warmth those words held. Yours were filled with the confidence of a pro in love while mine reeked of hesitance and the forced emotion of a girl trying to keep up. I loved you, really I did, but it wasn’t equal in weight to yours.
You loved with an intimidating passion and you overwhelmed me with your words and emotions. I wished then I could keep up…
I think it’s time to throw away these old love letters. Wait… Maybe later… Maybe Never.